The holiday season has arrived and despite the joy and merriment there is often a higher than normal level of stress. Here are my ten tips for bringing more joy and less stress into your holidays. Practice these and you will enjoy this special time of year while maintaining your well-being.Read More
The last time I saw my mother she was smiling and laughing at nothing in particular. My mother has dementia and has had dementia for almost ten years now. Each visit brings an onslaught of guilt and uncomfortable feelings. Could I have done something different to ease this for her? For years I discounted my heritage and all my ancestors and in doing so devalued her. How could I have been so heartless? How could I have stayed out all night and worried her to death when I was in my twenties? Why didn’t I stay with her in Boston after I married? The list goes on and on.
And then it happened...
“We are more than we believe, perhaps better stated we are cosmic beings having an earthly experience. The question is whether or not we are able to live from our cosmic home even as we are earthbound. I don’t know of anything more difficult, or more worthy of the effort.”Read More
Purpose, how we make meaning, is not static. As we grow it changes. What mattered to you in your twenties is different than what matters in your forties or sixties. To say there is one purpose behind your life is to limit your potential, to cease growing and evolving into the most expansive version of yourself.
No one grows up saying they want to live a small, meaningless and indifferent life.
When you are constantly bombarded by images of the perfect woman, wife, friend, daughter, mother, teacher, entrepreneur, Instagram personality — on and on — you sub-consciously compare yourself to others. This superficial measurement outranks your self-affirmation. You begin to believe what others tell you about how your life should be instead of self-validating your desires and dreams....Read More
I have been thinking about what is happening in the USA and in other parts of the world from my vantage point in Ecuador. Natural disasters, corrupt governments, the bloodstains of hate in city streets and remote villages.
I chose to stay silent as I processed my own feelings and allowed a kind of emotional distance to pass so I could speak with greater clarity about my thoughts. I’m choosing to share this with you because it may provide a new point of view for my readers. You may agree or disagree and both are fine.Read More
“Have a nice day.” What does that really mean?
Does it mean my day will be easy, comfortable, without any surprises?
Does it mean that the sun will shine and flowers will bloom as I walk past?
Does it mean that all heartache, illness and catastrophe will miraculously cease in the world?
I don’t want to have a nice day.
It’s not that I don’t want all these things. It’s not that I wouldn’t welcome a day of ease and comfort with the sun shining and only good news flooding my social media.
But that would be it, wouldn’t it? It would end there in ease and comfort.Read More
How do you find the wings to fly towards a new possibility that exists when emptiness becomes the invitation for emergence?
I’ve worked with thousands of people who have been standing on that ledge, knowing they could no longer remain there and afraid to move should they fall into the void. They deny their intuition, caving to the mind that sends messages of fear and conformity, acting as if there could be a knowable plan.
There is no denying a longing, a call and the element of synchronicity. But it doesn’t happen on a set timetable no matter how much you wish it were so. The waiting becomes unbearable and yet if you sink into it you’ll find that the answers will appear unforced and at the right time.Read More
Somewhere in Norway the sound of a ringing telephone pierces a street corner telephone booth. The incessant ringing must surely bring someone running, curious as to why this one specific telephone booth would be vibrating with urgency.
The call went answered.Read More
Like an exclamation point to the month of May is Mother’s Day.
I’m in the middle, between a son becoming a man and a mother becoming pure spirit.
It’s not that I feel tension. Actually I feel blessed to be able to observe this continuum of life, the beginning of one and the conclusion of another. I am both at the same time, becoming and ending, in my own journey. I experience this paradox not as a polarity but more like a mobius strip that folds into itself over and over again.Read More
Everyone is an artist.
I believe that.
Maybe not an artist in the ordinary sense.
Maybe you gag at a blank canvas or tremble in front of a naked sheet of paper. Maybe you can't carry a tune let alone read music.
Maybe the farthest you got as a sculptor was the little clay pots you made in primary school, the ones your Mom fawned over only to find their way into a forgotten drawer.
Maybe you are the burnt toast, canned soup, microwave the shit out of the meal type of chef?
You are an artist, trust me.Read More
Have you had the experience of feeling like something inside of you was pulling you in opposite directions?
One voice seems to be braver, encouraging you to step into a bigger life, to see yourself as greater than you’ve ever seen yourself, to dare to grab for that big dream and make it happen.
The other voice asks, “Who are you to….?” It shows you all the evidence that proves that you’d fail, that you would be taking too much on, or maybe that you just don’t deserve to do or be that wonderful, big giant of a person you dream of.
And of course, there is this little thing called “reality” that kicks in. (See other blog post on reality). You still have to pay the bills, take care of your family, to be that responsible person you know yourself to be. Clearly taking something on that is so challenging and venturing into the unknown territory of the future can be frightening.
How will you choose?Read More
There are days, like today, that I just have to keep the television off and the noise from the internet away. My heart aches when I see the pain humans cause one another. Don't we know who we really are? Are we so attached to power that we abuse one another to feel more important, more powerful, than another person?
Where does love appear when the battlefields are in our minds?
This world needs healing - and healers. They walk among us, unseen, incognito, hiding in plain sight. You may know one or a few. They are the silent ones, doing their work quietly, without publicity or fame.
They are ordinary people doing extraordinary things because they know who they are and where they come from.
The first time I heard this phrase it was in the movie, Eat, Pray, Love. In the movie Julia Robert’s/Elizabeth Gilbert’s two male friends are getting their hair cut at the barber. One of her Italian friends mocks the American lifestyle noting how we work ourselves to the bone only to lay around in our pajamas on the weekend watching TV. He claims that Americans know nothing about pleasure, always trying to justify pleasure instead of embracing it as well deserved (like Italians do). Her other friend then introduces the concept of La Dolce Far Niente – the sweetness of doing nothing.Read More
I’d like to tell you that there is one path you’re supposed to be on.
I’d like to tell you that you’ll be hit with the answer any minute now.
I’d like to tell you that life’s journey is simple, easy, known.
I’d like to tell you that it gets easier with time.
But all that is not true.Read More
“Every relationship is destined for destruction.”
When he said this to me, I flinched. You see, I believe in love and commitment and happily ever after. At least that is what I was taught to believe. So you can imagine that telling me that every relationship is doomed to fail is traumatic. Especially when it comes from the person I chose as my life partner.
But now I see how it is absolutely true.Read More
It’s difficult to write today. I’m overwhelmed.
I’m overwhelmed by the news of what is happening in the USA and its effects on the world. I am not sure I can log into Facebook any longer when each morning I am greeted by one word - “Trump” - instead of finding a welcoming word or being greeted by news of friends and family.
Today I feel like running away, hiding, closing the laptop and shutting out the noise.
Do you feel like that too? I imagine many of you do as well.
But there is no running away or hiding. And there are no easy answers.Read More
First there is a mountain.
But you don’t know it.
You don’t even see it.
At first you stumble around hitting your head, stubbing your toes, tripping over yourself as you try to find a path.
Then one day you notice the mountain and you notice that you are at the bottom of that mountain. Through the clouds you can barely distinguish a light shining at the peak. You know that someone is there waiting for you. Everything in you knows this.
And you begin to climb...Read More
I now make choices that align with my values even if it displeases someone else. I continue the practices I began when my son was young to stay attuned to what matters most to me in the present moment.
I learned that unless I place value on myself, no one would value me. I've become less tolerant of ignorance, unkindness, and victimization.
I have been able to identify a set of practices that sustain and nourish me. These practices lead to an authentic, empowered life.
Because I practice these lessons, I live an extraordinary life traveling between two countries, doing work that is location independent and having the flexibility to express myself creatively in ways that benefit others too.Read More
If you feel an “inkling”, a subtle feeling that there’s something amiss but you don’t know what it is, pay attention. That is the wisest part of you speaking. It may come as a whisper but if left unattended it will wreak havoc in your life.
This inner sage has the answers to the questions your mind doesn’t even know to ask.
There is transformation happening and it may not conform to what you’ve been told you should be or do. The outer world will present you evidence to the contrary. It will speak to you of what may happen if you dare listen, if you dare act out of love instead of out of fear.Read More
Every New Year a mantra reveals itself to me that serves as a compass for my decisions and actions and that challenges me to go beyond my limitations of ego and mind. The mantra is more than just words. It’s an invitation to break a hypnosis that quietly runs aspects of my life...
I am fiercely claiming my right to name myself from the inside out, not the outside in. It keeps the projections of others from intruding. It maintains my truth as my compass. I am making a choice about who I am in the world and how I am choosing to interact – from my center not from the projections of the outer world. That choice is inner freedom. From there I generate aliveness and energy that is the foundation of any endeavor I undertake.