It hurts to be human

Conscious Living

“It hurts to be human. It hurts like hell. And all the exploring in the world doesn’t make that hurt go away. Because being human and being hurt are the same damn thing.”

- The Kominsky Method, Chapter 2: An Agent Grieves (1:48 sec in) 


I’m late to the Netflix trend. It isn’t until recently that I decided to subscribe since I watch virtually no television. But every once in a while I feel the need to relax my mind hoping that something on television will inspire my thinking or writing without stressing me out.

And so it was with The Kominsky Method

The show is about two friends in Hollywood; Sandy Kominsky, played by Michael Douglas and Norman Newlander, played by Alan Arkin.  The storyline is about friendship, aging, life and death and how what matters changes.

Since I’m not doing a review of the show I’ll let you look it up. However, this post is about one scene and the quote above.

It simply hit me squarely in the heart.

Every day we watch our humanity, the best and worst of us, play out in the news, on television, over the internet and in our daily lives.  There are villains and heroes. There are moments of joy and scenes of tragedy. There are defeats and victories.

Life is complicated.

We can’t solve our human issues thinking our way out of them.  We can’t connect to another without allowing our vulnerability to show.  We can’t unfold our best selves without suffering and struggle and healing.

That is what it means to be human. And it hurts.

If you’re truly engaged, it hurts like hell.

But let it stand for something.

It needs to matter for you to evolve as a human being and as a spiritual being.

For the sake of what do you fear or suffer or fight?

It has to matter so much that it stops actually mattering.

No, I’m not confused.

Let me explain.

Here’s an example. 

I care deeply about my work and my clients.

So deeply that in order to be at service I must remain non-attached.

What does that mean?

It means that I empathize but I’m not in it; I’m not hooked by someone’s story or even the desire for a specific outcome.  And this is how I can ask the question that unhooks them so they can see new possibilities in their lives.

So that despite the hurt of being human they can go beyond that to a deeper identity of Self that is limitless.

It matters so much that it doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t trigger fear or remorse or suffering any longer. 

Judgement ceases. Clarity surfaces. Truth appears.

It becomes the right lesson at the right time, the one that will take you beyond who you thought you were and what you believed you were capable of.

There smack in the middle of the hurt and the story you created lies the touchstone of your personal evolution – consciousness.  

“To be fully alive, fully human and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again.”

~ Pema Chodron

Every human experience holds the nugget of consciousness. Every time you hurt, you are being thrown out of the nest.  Every death is a rebirth.

As you engage your life, remember this…. 

Every moment of life is a gift whether it brings you joy or pain. Being conscious is the only way to fully understand and to allow suffering to transform itself into light so you continue to step into the flow of each human moment until you return to your spiritual identity again – limitless.

Deep bow to you, dear friend, as you continue exploring your world.


Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash