When A Dream Is Worth Fighting For
Every New Year a mantra reveals itself to me that serves as a compass for my decisions and actions and that challenges me to go beyond my limitations of ego and mind. The mantra is more than just words. It’s an invitation to break a hypnosis that quietly runs aspects of my life.
Each year that goes by I get closer to the center of my being and become increasingly intolerant of things, relationships, work and habits that only serve to keep me stuck in a kind of suspended animation. I become more aware of the “shoulds” that I have integrated from the outside world that deny my freedom and authenticity. This year I realized that to protect the essential Self requires a stepping in and stepping up. It requires me to be fierce in my determination to keep evolving and to take a stand for my own truth.
This holding up a mirror to myself is difficult work. Sometimes I don’t like what I see. Sometimes I see how I can project my fears on others and how others project their fears on me. The world will want to put me in a box, to label me, to define me, and often with the best of intentions. As soon as I allow someone to define me I lose my true self and that means I lose my compass.
If I do not know myself I will not understand my relation to the rest of the world. If am denying the true relationship with my Self I will not be able to co-create with others from a place of inspiration.
I am fiercely claiming my right to name myself from the inside out, not the outside in. It keeps the projections of others from intruding. It maintains my truth as my compass. I am making a choice about who I am in the world and how I am choosing to interact – from my center not from the projections of the outer world. That choice is inner freedom. From there I generate aliveness and energy that is the foundation of any endeavor I undertake.
I want to see my life as the generative flow of the universe that manifests beauty and love. The rest is transactional.
We so often focus on results and outcomes, the concrete elements of our work and lives, and so we create things that hold no inspiration, no life force, no magic. I have come to understand that there is work that must be done before the work is done.
I know that if I am to write from my center, I have to feed my soul first. I must first remove the worldly distractions that keep me focused on the external mechanics and compromise the internal life-giving dream that is at the source of my work.
So I must take long walks in Nature, I must attend to my health and well-being, I must be present and available to share my love with my partner. Ultimately I must fiercely protect my soul from harm for that is the source of my truth and only when that soul is nourished and my heart is open can I manifest my unique beauty and truth. I must begin at the point of zero from where my true masterpiece will emerge.
The enemy is fear and I have become intimate with fear so that I can transcend it. I recognize where that fear is within me and explore what inner forces trigger that fear. I name them, look at them and ultimately transcend those forces so they become energy that is generating life, not fear.
When I allow the world to define me I feed the inner forces. When I surrender my truth to anyone or anything I grant it power over me. I lose my way, I bow to fear and I am no longer in right relation with myself or with the world. I am therefore no longer free.
I am at a cusp in my life, a defining moment. I cannot look to the outside world for its approval or allow projections to intrude tainting the spiritual longing I have for my life to be truly an expression of my soul. There is something so much more to do here that is beyond an end result or outcome. It begins with the internal work I do intentionally before the external work. That internal work includes the work that is done in silence.
The soul appears speaking in that silence and provides the compass to act in the world. I simply cannot create anything worthwhile from any other place.
As I embark on this year of transcendence I journey holding fast to my own truth so I can see the true nature of things. With the eyes of a newborn I see the “other” clearly. When I know my true nature I am poised to know the nature of others. This generates the life giving energy to co-create new things in the world.
I am able to serve as a reflection for others to see their own true nature. Everything depends on my journey to see myself clearly, truthfully and as a larger possibility than my ego has allowed.
Everyone and everything has its essential nature. It is not my role or responsibility to change that but to learn to dance with what is true.
When I know my true nature I can then recognize the true nature of others. This takes courage and a ferocity of spirit. It requires a release from attachment to any rote plans of how things should be done or how people should be.
This requires fierce presence to co-create beauty and magic. My partner calls these collaborations “encuentros” or encounters. Encounters occur when the full power and creative force of two or more beings are at play. Since there are no scripts, no instructions, there are also no assurances or guarantees in playing full out. These encounters hold the life giving force of stars when they meet with their full force exploding into a new nebula of light and energy.
This is what makes life worth living. This is what I wake up for every day. This makes dreams worth fighting for. And this is my declaration for 2017. To allow for whatever wants to emerge without the need to control it, becoming an observer of my own life.
My 2017 mantra encompasses so much right now. “Allow for Emergence”. That will be my compass, my true north this year. What will it be for you?